Starting Over Meditations

Something that I always tell our students is that tennis is a game of starting over. Everyone who ever plays will miss, will make an error than ends a point. We want to get good at starting over. Something that is important to starting over is letting go. Letting go of feelings that are strongholds to our present moment. Those thoughts of negative thinking or feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness will create tension in our muscles and not allow us to flow. Here are three great meditation and mindfulness exercises that I use to help us let go of negative thinking or stressful feelings. They are pictures of balloons.

Five Ways to Have a Mindful State

A lot is written today about mindfulness and there are a lot of people who are and claim to be experts in mindfulness. I am not an expert in mindfulness, I just try to practice it everyday.  Mindfulness is not relaxation, though using meditation and relaxation techniques do make us more mindful. Mindfulness is not an event. Mindfulness is simply noticing. Anytime you take a conscious breath, you are noticing, Like I said earlier, meditation can make us more mindful because we are connected to the moment. Thus, every conscious breath we take is a meditation. As you read this, take notice of what you are already doing. Then  give yourself some praise for being mindful. 

One of the first ways to have a mindful state is a process focus and not outcome focus. Mihaly Czikszentmihaly (The Optimal State of Flow) noticed that artists could perform a simple movement task of painting or drawing and create something with different levels of difficulty for hours at a time. What really impressed him is how they devoted such purpose and meaning in the moment, but when the work was finished could completely forget about it.  They were not focused on the finished product, they were focused on the process, the act of creating, drawing, painting. They were not anxious about the outcome, they enjoyed what they were doing and lost themselves in the moment and yet were totally aware of what they were doing. They were able to control the process of what they were doing and how they were doing it. The key here for tennis players is to focus on what we can do and repeat. 

The second key is preparation builds confidence and confidence builds an internal vision of success. Remember, it is not the outcome, but how do you feel about the way you played or performed. What did you do well or like about the day? That is what builds an internal state  that allows us to regulate our emotions. 

The third key is that everything is a practice. From the time spent in lessons to playing a match. It is all practice. You are performing your practice. If everything is practice, that means we should be mindful of our rituals, self-talk, and effort. Since everything is practice, it means this activity is apart of us. The routines, the stroke patterns, the strategy, the passion, All of it connects. Regardless of where you are, in a lesson or at a tennis match, have the mindset that this is my practice. I am practicing getting better, I am practicing enjoying playing this game. Some parts of my practice might have higher stakes, but it's still just practice. When we remember this, we are releasing the outcome focus to an internal focus. 

The fourth key is that if something is baggage, unload it. This could be a breakdown in your strokes, trying a new shot that just isn't working, our reactions, or negative thoughts, or experiences. Lets unload them, release them and use them as teaching points to learn the skill or a new skill. (Conscious Discipline)

Lastly, the fifth key is visualize and notice. We said preparation is one of the building blocks for confidence. Seeing your preparation in writing or pictures is creating that visual plan what you think could happen. This helps us so we can not have to react from a survival state and stay in the flow state. It allows us to notice what we want and notice in the real world when they are happening. The key is noticing. That is mindfulness. Noticing.

In summary, five ways to be mindful are Process, Prepare, Practice, Unload  and Notice. These are just some of the simple keys I use to have a more present state of mind. The big one for me is noticing. When I notice, I am in the moment. Now that you have read this post, which of the five keys to mindfulness do you already practice? 

I Can Handle This

So we started back with official tennis this week and although it is a small turnout, it is great to be back with our tennis family. Some of our families are just not ready to come back yet or they are going on vacation. Either way, I understand. This has been a challenge on our mental states. Adding to the fact that we went from 90 degrees to 110+ in such a short period of time. Usually we are able to acclimate over time, but not this year. The key though is to be able to download calm to our brain. Something I have been learning over the course of these past weeks is about the Conscious Discipline Brain State Model. I think that it can really help in our lessons as we help kids become successful. That is my job, to help them become successful. Their job is to help everyone be successful. 

There are three internal brain states we enter into and only one of them allows us to learn new skills. The three brain states are Survival State, Emotional State, and Executive State. When we are in one of these states, we are operating from a different part of the brain. 

The first state is the Survival State and when we enter here, we are operating from the brain stem. We are asking the question,"Am I safe?"  If the answer is no, then cortisol kicks in and we either, fight, flight, or freeze. We are going to do whatever we need to do to get back to safety. Sometimes the behavior creates the opposite result of what we want. During this state children (adults too) may punch, vandalize, kick, or run away just to feel safe again. In this state, learning cannot happen. Ever try to talk to a child during a tantrum? Communication is not going to happen and when you model that behavior with the same intensity, there becomes a power struggle. 

When we play tennis or learn tennis, there are some students who have a low frustration tolerance. When things start to unravel in a match they begin to throw their racket, water bottles, hit the ball at their opponent, or some other act that is careless. They are thinking unconsciously, trying to get back to a state of safety or control. They just lack the skills to get there. Matches often unravel.  So what we do as coaches or teachers, is teach them the skills in practice. Some tournaments allow for coaching, but most do not so the player is on their own. 

We teach a simple strategy of STAR Breathing. STAR is an acronym for STOP, TAKE a breath, AND RELAX.  The key word is the STOP, PAUSE. During the STOP, we actually hold our breath for one to two seconds. This actually helps reset the brain and chemical systems of our body. then we breath out one to three times from our stomach. When that is done we use a mantra,"I can handle this." or "I got this."  

My challenge to you is to try the STAR breath next time you feel like you are not safe and your internal world is falling apart. Your children will learn this skill every lesson to help them learn to have an internal control over themselves. They will fail from time to time, they won't be perfect, They will recognize their state though and begin making the adjustments. Then one day they will truly believe,"I can handle this."

Source (2018) Dr. Becky Bailey  www.consciousdiscipline.com